(M)Not all people like change. Have you ever thought about change? Do you like it? Do you encourage it? Most of all, do you learn from it?
(M)My life has changed two times during my 48 years on this earth, once with my brain tumors and now with my son. It’s hard not to say “daughter” or “she”. In fact I misspoke just the other day and used an incorrect pronoun while talking about my son. It doesn’t happen very often. It used to happen ALL the time. Sometimes what we learn from change is that it takes a long time and takes practice.
In this blog Kam and I have come together to share some educational information that we feel is important. If you see an (M) next to a sentence or paragraph that’s from mom and (K) is from Kameron.
Let’s start with some basic acronyms.
LGBTQIA: stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning, Intersex, and Asexual. These are terms that encompass a large range of the identities of non-heterosexual people. (M)Just face it, it’s not boy or girl anymore.
(K)FtM: Female to Male.
(K)MtF: Male to Female.
(K)Afab: Assigned Female at Birth.
(K)Amab: Assigned Male at Birth.
(K)(Ftm, MtF, Afab, and Amab should only be used by the people who are transgender/gender noncomforming, and NOT by others describing a trans person.) (M)I just found this out as we are sitting here discussing this.
(K)Queer: an umbrella term some people use to define themselves. It often just means “not straight.” Queer is also a slur that is being reclaimed by those who identify as such. Rule of thumb: if you don’t identify as queer, don’t use the word! (M) And don’t use the word to describe something that may be “stupid”.
Nonbinary: a term people use to describe themselves when they don’t identify as “binary,” or strictly male or female. (M)In this day and age there are many people who do not want to identify as M or F. Perhaps they are leaving their options open.
(K)Transgender: a term people use to label themselves if their gender does not match the sex they were assigned at birth.
(K)Transsexual: an outdated term (that, to some, is considered offensive now so it’s probably best to not use it) that was used to describe people who had undergone medical steps—hormones, surgeries—in their transition. (M) I know for sure that I do not like discussing my body parts.
(K)Transvestite: someone who feels sexual pleasure from dressing up as a different gender. People who cross-dress are usually comfortable with their gender.
(K)Intersex: an individual who has elements of both males and females when they are born. For example, a man could be born with one ovary and one testicle. A woman could be born with a testicle that never fully drops. Someone who is intersex can decide how they want to identify in terms of gender. (M) This type of birth actually happened while we were all seeing our therapist. He dealt with this type of birth.
(K)Cisgender: when a person is cisgendered, it means their gender matches the sex they were assigned at birth.
(K)Pansexual: this is a sexual orientation in which people are attracted to people regardless of gender.
(K)NEVER ASK A TRANS PERSON IF THEY ARE PLANNING TO HAVE SURGERY, OR IF THEY HAVE ALREADY HAD IT!!!!! This is a highly personal question that most trans people feel uncomfortable answering. Imagine if someone asked you what was in your pants? How would you react if someone asked you if you were planning on undergoing an invasive surgery to alter your body? (M) We are all curious about this whole community because it is different than the “norm”. But actually, what IS normal in life? Many times we are faced with having to find new normal and continue growing and learning.
(K)Newsflash: trans people are more than their genitalia! It’s not “normal” to go up to people and ask about what’s in their pants, so why ask someone about it when you find out they’re trans?
(M) I am fascinated every day with what I learn about LGBTQ-AI. In fact I just learned that A and I were added to the acronym. It is difficult to absorb a new culture or language. I have been traveling to Haiti for 5 years and I am finally becoming comfortable with the language and culture. It is still a shock for the first few days I am there. If you think about it, this community that needs more understanding and acceptance is well within our reach of making that happen. I am sure most if not all of you use google or take part in some sort of research if you want to learn about a topic or famous person. Do the same for this community. Pass on your knowledge. There is no reason not to love or care for anyone in the entire spectrum of LGBTQ-AI.
Thanks for reading. We hoped you learned a little something from us!