Let’s talk about pronouns. I never thought a pronoun would mean so much in my life. 18 years of parenting a female, memories of bringing home a baby girl. We had a nursery decorated gender neutral waiting for the new arrival.
An excited new mom delivers a baby girl. The first thing I want to do is transform that nursery to explosive pinks and ruffles. I couldn’t wait to puke girl all over that room.
I stenciled pink bows as a border around the room. I got eyelet lace crib bedding. Anything I could get my hands on to make this nursery all “sweet baby girl” worked for me. After all, isn’t that what new mom’s do? I didn’t have a theme in mind. I kept it simple but the room screamed, “a baby girl is here!”
The next thing on my list was to exchange some of the gender neutral clothes I received for girly clothes. It was so fun picking out pink, purple, lace, and girly looking outfits. Dresses to shoes and socks–it was so fun. I loved shopping for this kid.
As parents we decided we wanted our child to grow up being heard and seen. That being said, around the age of 5-6 she began voicing her opinion on the clothes she wanted to wear. That began the not-so fun clothes-shopping adventures.
When it was time for the all-holy Catholic first communion she wanted to wear a suit just like all the boys. I wouldn’t have it. She was born female. So when one is born with gendered parts of female or male isn’t that how we raise them? There are parents in today’s world that are bringing up their child gender-neutral letting the child become who they are as they grow. I see no problem with it. Our world needs more tolerance. That’s just my opinion. I am not sure if I could do that. Interesting thought though.
As she grew, the norm for us was to both become disappointed when clothes shopping. I was sad that she never really wanted to wear the girly things everyone else was wearing. I was willing to spend top dollar on clothes, bras, underwear, etc. One time (a very short lived time) there was a store that she fell in love with and I was so happy! I bought out the store (not really). After that fad died it was back to the more neutral “blah” style. When she fell in love with a store that sold really nice bras and underwear I was elated! Really? As I look back now, how ridiculous.
So now at his age of 21 I can go out and buy anything from underwear to suits and know he will love it! Noticed I changed pronouns? It doesn’t happen overnight but it did happen. Do I still make mistakes? You better believe it. It has been about two years now that his pronouns have changed. It is extremely hard to talk about him when he was a baby because as a baby he was she. Remembering or trying to make her (as in the baby I brought up as her) him hurts my heart because “she” is gone forever. He is here now and that makes me happy to see him happy. Statistics show children in the LGBTQ community who have parental support are more successful in life. I can’t imagine my life without my child no matter him or her. Life doesn’t guarantee anything. Life always gives the proverbial lemons. It’s what you choose to do with the lemons that count. Everyone has a choice…it’s just will you make the right choice?
When your child transitions, pronouns are so very important to them. It helps them feel like they are loved and supported because you are accepting them as THEY want to be accepted.
There are so many other pronouns with in the LGBTQ community. Each person is individual in this world. So why can’t everyone treat everyone like the individual they are?